Top 5 HR Horror Stories
While we try to make Halloween the spookiest time of the year, let’s be honest. Nothing, and I mean nothing comes close to the horror that HR can bring to your life.
The one where you’re waiting to be paid
If we are being honest here, no matter how high or low your income might be, from CEO to junior staff, we all eagerly await payday. From the crack of dawn, we manically check to see when our nearly broke bank account will be credited. But as the day continues and the morning progresses to evening…. fearful, sinister thoughts come to mind. “Could it be? Am I not getting paid today?” *chilling scream in the background *
The one where you need something done
Now who out there has faced severe panic attacks every time you need something done from HR? Hands around the world are going up right now. As you muster the courage to visit their desk, there always seems to be a dark cloud above them, with thunder and lightning roaring around. When you finally reach your HR partner’s desk and you let out a weak, timid “umm…excuse me”, they lift their head up and give a cold, frightful stare. Much like the cold, frightful stare of the lady from The Grudge.
The one where you had a little fun
Maybe you had a rough week and you’re approaching the end. It’s Friday so you’re taking it easy a bit. Having a chat with your teammates, laughing a little, sipping some warm coffee. But then you feel this odd sensation. Like evil is close. Like a pair of menacing, insidious eyes are watching you. So you turn ever so slowly and GASP! HR is staring right at you. And as you sweat buckets, you pray to some merciful god that this won’t be blabbed to your boss by Monday.
The one where you were harassed
Ever had some random employee hit on you, text you inappropriately or just make low-key pervy comments at work? That alone is terrifying… scary enough to keep you up at night because you just don’t know the right way to handle it. But what’s worse? When the department who is supposed to help you with this turns their back on you and then….you are sadly and scarily alone…
The one where you’re leaving your job
When the time finally comes to say goodbye… you foolishly think that the horror story might be over. But like any truly scary horror story, right when you think it’s over, the monsters jump right back out again. Instead of smooth sailing out of there, you are forced to pass through a range of “did you steal any of our IT stuff?” and “we are going hold your salary for as long as we like”. Worst of all, you need to sit through an endlessly long exit interview that you were prepped to only give favourable answers. “Was your supervisor good?” “Absolutely”. “Is anything we can do to improve?” “No mam you’re perfect mam”
Hyperbole and satire aside, instead of spreading goosebumps and fear, HR partners should strive to be supportive, caring and empathetic. Remind folks that the H in HR stands for Human not Horror. Happy Halloween!
